Peace in Relationships..Craig Denison Ministries

 

Peace in Relationships

Craig Denison Ministries

Weekly Overview:

One of the most powerful marks of a believer is transcendent peace. This world offers us no reason to be peaceful. It offers us no reason to be without stress, burdens, cares, and total frustration. But we serve a God who offers us peace in the midst of any circumstance. We serve a God in whom all true peace finds its source. May you discover the heart of your heavenly Father to bring you peace this week.

Scripture:“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.” Colossians 3:15

Devotional:           

Relationships are one of the parts of life that can most rob us of our peace in the Holy Spirit. Our lives are all in some way impacted by one another. If I am counting on someone and they don’t come through, it can profoundly impact my circumstances. If I truly love someone and they wound, neglect, or reject me, it can undoubtedly hinder my ability to enjoy the peace of God. But God offers us peace in the midst of all circumstances. Jesus maintained peace in the Holy Spirit in the midst of those he loved shouting, “Crucify him!” (Luke 23:21). May God lead us today to a path of continual peace founded on his love and truth.

Colossians 3:12-15 describes a road map to powerful, transcendent peace in our relationships. Scripture says,

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

The pathway to peace with others begins with choosing to die to yourself. We are completely unable to control anyone. Each person has a will and the power to love us or reject us. Even believers will consistently fail you. If the people of God could stand in the presence of God incarnate and shout, “Crucify him,” you can know others will reject you. But when you choose to continually humble yourself before others and serve, you will be filled with the “peace of Christ” (Colossians 3:15). When we choose to put on “compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” regardless of the actions of others, we position ourselves to continually bear the fruit of peace (Colossians 3:12).

We find our greatest example of this in the person of Jesus. Just as he could ask forgiveness from his heavenly Father by saying, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” as the soldiers who nailed him to the cross gambled for his clothing, you will have a supernatural peace when you choose to live selflessly in love (Luke 23:24). The Holy Spirit will fill you with peace in your relationships when you choose to live like Jesus.

Take time today to put on a “compassionate [heart], kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12). Choose to die to yourself and live for Christ. And watch as the Holy Spirit anoints you with the fruit of peace and love to live like Jesus did. May your relationships be filled with patience today as you live in obedience to the word of your loving heavenly Father.

Guided Prayer:

1. Meditate on Scripture’s command to die to yourself and live like Jesus.

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23

“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it.” Mark 8:35

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

2. What would it be like to live in a consistent posture of love and humility rather than in response to the actions of others? What sort of peace would you feel if your emotions and actions were less founded on others and more based on the unconditional love and commands of God?

3. Choose to live today in humility and service. Decide to die to yourself and live in total surrender to the Holy Spirit.

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:1-5

“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14

As you seek peace with others in your midst, may Paul's exhortation in Colossians 3:12-15 be at the center of your heart and mind:

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

Extended Reading: Colossians 3

When Saying “I’m Fine” Doesn’t Keep the Peace..LYSA TERKEURST

 When Saying “I’m Fine” Doesn’t Keep the Peace

LYSA TERKEURST 

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17 (NIV) When someone we love says something or does something that breaks our hearts, what is the godliest way to respond? Is it to pretend that everything is fine so we can keep the peace? Or is it to confront the person to prove how wrong they are? Well, it’s neither. If ever I catch myself pretending or proving, I know I am not trusting God with the outcome and am processing my hurt the wrong way. The right way is approaching this situation with soul integrity — responding in a way that's not only honest but also peaceful. Our key verse, James 3:17, says, “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure [honest]; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (emphasis added). Yes, I want this kind of wisdom, this kind of soul integrity. I want to be honest and peacemaking at the same time. But how? We first must decide to commit to real honesty. Not all expressions of my feelings are real honesty. You see, my honest feelings may not be truthful assessments of the situation. I can be honest with how I feel and still exaggerate or misinterpret what is true. I can feel justified in being blatant about my feelings — not hiding a thing — and prideful for being so “real,” all under the guise of being honest. But what I’ve come to realize is that honesty that isn’t true isn’t honesty at all. It may just be emotional spewing. That's why we need peacemaking honesty — honesty reined in by the Holy Spirit — if we’re going to have authentic soul integrity. So if I want real honesty, I have to ask the Holy Spirit to show me real truth. I need to see things from the other person's perspective. I need to ask questions of that person with the desire to better understand instead of throwing out statements of accusation. Ultimately, my goal should be to add peace to my honesty. It must grieve God to see fake versions of peacemaking that aren't reined in by honesty. That's what we do when we pretend everything is OK. The upside of pretending everything is fine is that we have the semblance of “peacemaking.” But when we do so at the expense of honesty, we harbor a corrosive bitterness that will eventually emerge. Either it will erode our health and later present itself in a host of emotional and physical anxiety-induced illnesses or it will accumulate over time and surprise everyone when the peacemaker eventually erupts. Saying “I’m fine” to keep the peace — when we’re really not fine — isn’t honest. Ouch. Trust me when I say this steps all over my toes. I’ve learned that sometimes dishonesty comes in the form of saying things that aren't true. But it's also dishonest when we fail to say necessary things that are true. It may seem godly in the moment, but it’s false godliness. Truth and godliness always walk hand in hand. The minute we separate one from the other, we stray from soul integrity and give a foothold to the instability that inevitably leads to giving up the best of who we are. Yes, we’re pursuing soul integrity — honesty that is also peacemaking that leads to godliness. This soul integrity brings balance to chaotic relationships. It makes us true peacemakers — people who aren’t proving or pretending but rather honestly demonstrating, in a godly manner, what we are experiencing. And being a true peacemaker reaps a harvest of great qualities in our lives: right things, godly things, healthy things. Dear Lord, through You, I am able to bring the way I process my hurt under Your authority and Truth. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit, who gives me the wisdom to move beyond my reactions. Help me lean on You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Paying Attention to How We Live..Dr. Charles Stanley

 Paying Attention to How We Live

Dr. Charles Stanley

Luke 12:16-21

One day we’ll give an account of ourselves to the Lord (Romans 14:12). We must, then, pay attention to how we live.

The rich man in Luke 16:19-31 made the tragic choice of living for himself without regard for the Lord. He also made two other mistakes.

First, he invested everything for himself and nothing for the life to come. When we are blinded by our own desires and personal satisfaction, it is easy to become lukewarm about spiritual matters. We forget that this life is not all there is. Scripture tells us to store up treasures in heaven, not on earth. Where our treasure is reflects where our heart is (Matthew 6:19-21).

The rich man’s other mistake was to prepare everything for himself and nothing for others. Crumbs falling from his table (v. 21) were the only form of assistance he gave a poor man named Lazarus. The one who had much wealth did not share it with the one who had little. Jesus explained what our priorities should be to love the Lord wholeheartedly and to love our neighbor as ourselves (Luke 10:27).

We see the rich man’s mistakes repeated in another parable. This time a wealthy man builds bigger barns to store crops so he will have plenty for the future. God calls him a fool for such shortsightedness (Luke 12:20).

The Bible repeatedly warns us to pay attention to spiritual matters—the Lord is to have first place in our lives and be the center of our affections. He urges us to store up heavenly treasure by caring for the lost and hurting people around us. On whom is your attention focused?

The Joy of Being Heard..Karrilee Aggett

 The Joy of Being Heard

By Karrilee Aggett

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY:  ‘Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ (Jeremiah 33:3)

When God first directed my attention to this verse, I was a fairly new believer. I was new to the Bible and learning how to study it. I was new to prayer and the discipline of praying. I was new to being a wife and the learning curve of being a new mother was overwhelming! In other words, I was tired, y’all!

Suddenly, for too many consecutive nights, my eyes popped open wide at exactly 3:33 a.m.  The family was soundly sleeping. The house calm and quiet. What I wanted more than anything was to stay in bed, turn over, and go back to dreaming.

However, I don’t believe in coincidence and waking at the same time for days and days in a row certainly must mean something. As silly as it sounded, my heart knew it was true.

I made my way out to the living room, grabbed my Bible and sat down, ready to pray. Surely, this was a God-moment and maybe –just maybe, He had something to say to me!

Groggily, I whisper-prayed, “Here I am, Lord! I am listening…”

I waited in the silence and tried not to fall asleep. When I didn’t hear a response, I began my explanation of how there must be a better time to want to talk!  That is when He led me to open my Bible and look up Jeremiah 33:3. When I read over verse three, all of my tired emotions welled up and began to spill out.

Oh, what a promise! “Call to Me, and I will answer you…”

That promise still takes my breath away! It was the beginning of falling in love with prayer.  As a new mother way back then, the promise that He would not only hear me, but answer me was like a drink of cold water for my parched and thirsty soul!

I love how The Message states the latter part of that verse:

“I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.”

Marvelous and wondrous things… Yes, please!

Maybe you, too, are parched and thirsty and needing a bit of reassurance this God to whom we pray hears and listens and better yet, He answers!

Call to Him… and He will answer you…

This is the beginning of learning the JOY of being heard!

A Prayer for Submissive Wives..Emily Rose Massey

 A Prayer for Submissive Wives

By Emily Rose Massey

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior” (1 Peter 3:1-2, NASB).

My husband Paul and I have been married for almost thirteen years; From day one, we have viewed our roles in the home as 51/49, meaning we realize that God created men to lead the family, so he has an extra measure of responsibility to protect, provide, and guide the family. And hear me clearly, we are equal in value as people, but never equal in role. The husband being the head of the home doesn’t mean the wife doesn’t get a say in what happens in the family or the wife is disconnected from family matters, it means at the end of the day, the husband is held responsible for the decisions made. It is God's order for the family. Chaos is inevitable if you step out of the bounds of God's ordained order. You can experience God's peace by walking out the role He has ordered for you specifically and uniquely, dear sister.

One way a wife can help “lighten the load” for her husband is to fulfill her role in the home with joy and excellence, as well as pray for and encourage her husband in his God-ordained role (despite his short-comings and flaws).

I have several friends who have a husband who is not the spiritual leader of their home, and it makes submission extremely difficult for them when they feel their husband is not “carrying his weight” in this area of the family. God is very much aware of this dynamic, which is most likely why He inspired Peter to pen these encouraging words for wives:

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior” (1 Peter 3:1-2, NASB).

Regardless if the husband is a believer or not, men have a weightier responsibility that women were not designed to carry- a burden of accountability before the Lord as the leader of the home and family. As wives, we must view this design as the gift it truly is to your womanhood. God simply did not create men and women "equal" in this way. Our roles are different, so it is wise to try not to strap on an unnecessary burden. Eventually, it will harm you, your marriage, and your family. We cannot walk in submission and service in our home without the help of the Holy Spirit, so it is important for us to remember to ask God for His grace, especially when our husbands may not be as involved in our home and children’s lives as we would like. The Lord has given you your husband and your marriage covenant is important to God. He wants to work and change you and your husband’s hearts to reflect His ways as He cultivates the fruit of the Spirit in your lives. Even though nagging may seem like the easy thing to do when we are annoyed or frustrated, let us gain wisdom from the scriptures and win our husbands over with our respect and love, asking the Lord to humble us daily and give us a heart to serve our husbands and our family.

Let’s pray:

Father God,
Thank You for the gift of marriage. It is not always easy, but please help me see it as the gift it truly is. Help me to remember to hold my tongue when I am frustrated at my husband and learn to walk in respectful manner towards him. I ask that You would bless my husband as he seeks to support and provide for our family. Move in his heart to hunger after Your Word so that He looks to You most of all as he learns how to lead our family. If he does not know You or love You like I know You and love You, I ask that You would convict his heart to see his great need of the Savior and draw him to the cross. Thank You for my husband and thank You for the order You have placed in the family. I pray Your peace would be our foundation. In Jesus’ name, amen.

What Does it Mean to Win?..Meg Bucher

 What Does it Mean to Win?

By Meg Bucher

“My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people, trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart to Him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:7-8 NLT

The pit in my stomach threatened to travel up to my throat, as I sauntered up to the circle of runners I would now call teammates. Stories of trophies and championships bantered back and forth as we stretched, and I immediately felt unqualified. 

“What was your best time?” I asked, a questions distance runners love to talk about. And as the answers filtered in, my confidence level rose. I may not have accumulated as many medals and state championship stories, but I had clocked one of the fastest times trying. I learned the difference between divisions that day, and that the mark of a medal doesn’t always represent the actual winner. 

David wrote, “my victory and honor come from God alone.” Later in the Psalm he wrote, “Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind, and the powerful are not what they appear to be.” (Psalm 62:9 NLT) Medals, trophies, and stories of races won are impressive and intimidating at the same time. It’s important to discern the definition of winning in our lives. What does it mean to win?

1. God is our refuge.

“So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us.” Hebrews 6:18 NLT

Jesus said, “It is finished,” as He gave up His life on the cross. When we give our lives over to Christ, we have already won the most important victory of all. A refuge is a “shelter or protection from danger.” This is what we have won by surrendering our lives to our Savior. Shelter and protection from danger. The commander of heaven’s armies hears and answers our prayers. 

2. God is a rock where no enemy can reach us. We can trust Him at all times. 

“God replied to Moses, ‘I am who I am. Say this to the people of Israel: I am has sent me to you.” Exodus 3:14 NLT

God is unchanging. When our lives are unraveling, we run to the stability of the Rock who is our God. He is solid, steadfast, and faithful. Rocks don’t wither under the heat of the sun, or succumb to the pressure of the earth. We stand on solid ground, unable to be withered or pressured past our breaking point when we obediently give our circumstances over to Him. 

3. We can pour our hearts out to God. He is our refuge.

“He reveals deep and mysterious things, and knows what lies hidden in the darkness, though He is surrounded by light.” Daniel 2:22 NLT

Most of us can internally number the people whom we feel comfortable unraveling in the midst of. People we feel able to cry in front of, vent to, and trust with our most concerning struggles. God is our refuge. He is the safest, most reliable source to pour our hearts out to. He knows us better than anyone else. He created us with specific care and purpose. His heart aches alongside ours. 

Intersecting Faith and Life:
Winning in this life is rooted in the hope we have through Christ Jesus, and the victory He has already won. There is no pressure on us to perform, achieve or goal set ourselves into an exhaustive state. Winning is doing the best we can with what He has given us, without worrying about what He’s given everyone else do to. In this world, we will have trouble, but Christ has already won. We win, too, when we realize our refuge is in Him, alone. By our own merit and striving, we will never measure up. By His standards, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. When we see ourselves from His perspective, we win. When we run to Him as our rock, not the world, we win. When we realize He is right there waiting for us to pour our hearts out to Him, instead of venting on social media or gossiping endlessly until we run out of people to talk to, we win. He is our victory. 

Further Reading:
Psalm 62