When You Wonder Who You Would Have Been...... BRENDA BRADFORD OTTINGER

1/20/21

When You Wonder Who You Would Have Been

BRENDA BRADFORD OTTINGER

“So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, he stayed where he was for the next two days.” John 11:5-6 (NLT)

Some seasons of our stories are so challenging, they invest themselves into who we become, leaving a clear before and after in their dust.

We hold these moments close, protective of their scars, as they nestle deep within our personalities, affecting the way we view ourselves and others.

Perhaps someone who was supposed to love you, didn’t — leaving a hole your heart struggles to mend from a rejection it can’t understand. Maybe a diagnosis or tragedy interrupted your plans, and you long for a do-over. Perhaps you’re heartsick from a betrayal that also betrayed your dreams of happily ever after.

Whatever the hurts of our lives, our meandering minds aren’t shy about chasing illusions, wondering who we would have been had certain chapters been absent from our stories. How easily we question whether our insecurities and struggles might be exchanged for confidence and calm had suffering not inked itself upon our yesterdays.

Over the years, as I’ve asked myself who I would have been without the disappointments of my life, God has lovingly shown me that every human answer I assume discounts His divine print on the pages of my story.

Time and again, Scripture reveals the Lord’s delight in using broken people, shaping what would have been into something full of purpose and abundance.

While Jesus walked this earth, He and His companions weren’t immune to disappointment and heartache either. John shares one such account when Jesus received a message from close friends, Martha and Mary, informing Jesus that their brother Lazarus was sick. Jesus was only a day’s journey from Bethany where Lazarus lived, yet His reaction seemed confusing: “… although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, he stayed where he was for the next two days” (John 11:5-6).

Finally, four days after Lazarus’s death, Jesus arrived in Bethany to the same heart-wrenching words from both Martha and Mary, “… Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died” (John 11:21, 32, NLT).

Oh friend, how many times have we spoken our own versions of these words, too — wondering what might have been had the Lord not allowed our wounds to linger?

But, let us not miss the comfort in this passage, as Jesus shares His reason for waiting, “… it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this” (John 11:4b, NLT).

John continues painting the scene as Jesus miraculously raised Lazarus from the dead, resulting in many people believing in Him as the true Son of God. (John 11:34-44)

Sister, nothing is beyond His redeeming reach. Our sorrows aren’t too great for God to find His glory in them.

The brokenness that causes us to wonder who we would have been finds its upside-down way of being a grace.

You see, right before Jesus called Lazarus out of the grave, He prayed aloud to God His Father, “You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me” (John 11:42, NLT). Jesus wasn’t late to heal Lazarus; rather, His timing allowed for the awakening of more hearts than one that day.

We may not sense it amidst suffering, but the experiences written on the pages of our lives aren’t random. Each chapter influences the next, shaping our passions and compassions, our understanding and wisdom in ways that also would not have been had we not known the sorrow.

When we look beyond who we woulda, coulda, shoulda been, surrendering our scars to the Savior, our imperfect stories testify to the power of God to resurrect seemingly dead things for His glory.

Dear Jesus, may every hurt my soul harbors become another story for Your glory. I humbly offer it all to You, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Romans 8:18, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” (NIV)

Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the LORD. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’” (NLT)

Streams in the Desert.....

 Streams in the Desert

Sorrow is better than laughter; for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better (Ecclesiastes 7:3).

When sorrow comes under the power of Divine grace, it works out a manifold ministry in our lives. Sorrow reveals unknown depths in the soul, and unknown capabilities of experience and service. Gay, trifling people are always shallow, and never suspect the little meannesses in their nature. Sorrow is God's plowshare that turns up and subsoils the depths of the soul, that it may yield richer harvests. If we had never fallen, or were in a glorified state, then the strong torrents of Divine joy would be the normal force to open up all our souls' capacities; but in a fallen world, sorrow, with despair taken out of it, is the chosen power to reveal ourselves to ourselves. Hence it is sorrow that makes us think deeply, long, and soberly.

Sorrow makes us go slower and more considerately, and introspect our motives and dispositions. It is sorrow that opens up within us the capacities of the heavenly life, and it is sorrow that makes us willing to launch our capacities on a boundless sea of service for God and our fellows.

We may suppose a class of indolent people living at the base of a great mountain range, who had never ventured to explore the valleys and canyons back in the mountains; and some day, when a great thunderstorm goes careening through the mountains, it turns the hidden glens into echoing trumpets, and reveals the inner recesses of the valley, like the convolutions of a monster shell, and then the dwellers at the foot of the hills are astonished at the labyrinths and unexplored recesses of a region so near by, and yet so little known. So it is with many souls who indolently live on the outer edge of their own natures until great thunderstorms of sorrow reveal hidden depths within that were never hitherto suspected.

God never uses anybody to a large degree, until after He breaks that one all to pieces. Joseph had more sorrow than all the other sons of Jacob, and it led him out into a ministry of bread for all nations. For this reason, the Holy Spirit said of him, "Joseph is a fruitful bough…by a well, whose branches run over the wall" (Gen. 49:22). It takes sorrow to widen the soul.
--The Heavenly Life

The dark brown mould's upturned
By the sharp-pointed plow;
And I've a lesson learned.
My life is but a field,
Stretched out beneath God's sky,
Some harvest rich to yield.
Where grows the golden grain?
Where faith? Where sympathy?
In a furrow cut by pain.
--Maltbie D. Babcock

Every person and every nation must take lessons in God's school of adversity. "We can say, 'Blessed is night, for it reveals to us the stars.' In the same way we can say, 'Blessed is sorrow, for it reveals God's comfort.' The floods washed away home and mill, all the poor man had in the world. But as he stood on the scene of his loss, after the water had subsided, broken-hearted and discouraged, he saw something shining in the bank which the waters had washed bare. 'It looks like gold,' he said. It was gold. The flood which bad beggared him made him rich. So it is ofttimes in life."
--Henry Clay Trumbull

Uncontrolled Weakness ..... Dr. Charles Stanley

 Uncontrolled Weakness

Dr. Charles Stanley

Judges 16:1-24

The book of Judges tells of a man named Samson, who was so strong he could kill a lion with his bare hands (14:5-6). He possessed physical strength unequalled by any human being. But this could not compensate for his inner weakness.

All of us have areas of weakness. God wants these character flaws to show us how totally dependent we are upon Him. When we handle them properly, they drive us into a deeper, more intimate relationship with the Lord. But uncontrolled weakness wreaks havoc in a person’s life.

Samson’s Achilles’ heel was uncontrollable lust. Although he was raised in a godly home and had a clear calling in life, he gave in to his desires and deliberately violated the truth he knew so well. Despite Nazirite laws forbidding involvement with foreign women, Samson pursued a harlot in Gaza (16:1). Later, he met a woman named Delilah, and even though her motives were blatantly treacherous, he gave himself over—heart, mind, and spirit—to sexual indulgence. He was in such bondage to the sin that he ultimately allowed it to dictate his actions, even at the cost of his life.

Before he died, Samson lost everything: his strength, eyesight, and honor. The man who once led his country mightily became a slave to his enemies (vv. 18-25).

What is your weakness? Is it lust, insecurity, fear, greed, gossip, or pride? Personality flaws can be a powerful motivation for good or ill, depending on our response. A proclivity for sin can ruin your life—as it did Samson’s—or drive you to utter dependence on God. The outcome is up to you.

Looking Through the Right Lens..... SHARON JAYNES

 Looking Through the Right Lens

SHARON JAYNES

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (NIV)

I sat in the dimly lit room with soft music wafting through the air and began to relax. No, this was not the prelude to a romantic evening with my husband. It was the aftermath of my yearly eye exam!

If you’ve ever had an eye exam, you’re familiar with the refraction test the doctor uses to determine if you need glasses, and if so, what prescription is right for you. You place your face up to a tool called a phoropter, and then the doctor flips down the first lens, then another, while you say which of the two helps you see the letters on the eye chart more clearly. Lens one or two? Lens three or four? Which one is better?

The eye doctor’s vision test made me wonder if I was looking at my life through the correct lens. Was it possible to flip down a different lens and see a better story?

The Apostle Paul was a man whose physical eyesight waned with the passing years, but his spiritual eyesight remained exceptionally clear. During his time preaching the gospel, he was flogged, whipped and stoned many times. He had been shipwrecked, bitten by a snake, outcast and ridiculed. Several times, he was in lockdown in one place or another. Some of his life was spent under house arrest in Rome, as well as chained to a guard in a dirty dungeon — all for preaching the gospel. And yet, it was during one of those stints in prison that Paul wrote the most joyful book in the New Testament: Philippians.

“I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.” (Philippians 1:12-14, NIV)

Lens one or two? Paul didn’t see himself as stuck in prison because of Jesus; he saw himself as stationed in prison for Jesus. He didn’t see himself as chained to a Roman guard; he saw the Roman guard as chained to him. The guards had to listen to Paul talk about Jesus day in and day out. Paul had time to write letters to all the churches, something he might not have done had he been free to travel.

Paul also wrote, “I am put here for the defense of the gospel” (Philippians 1:16, NIV, emphasis added). Who put him there? From the outside looking in, it appeared the Roman rulers put him there. But from the inside looking out, Paul knew God had positioned him there. He didn’t see himself as stuck at all. He considered himself stationed. And because he was looking through the right lens, he had joy even in a difficult situation.

I wish this was my perspective all the time, but it’s not. It’s a struggle. I pout, get huffy and become downright discouraged when my plans fall apart or people don’t respond the way I’d hoped. But after settling down, I try to remember to flip the lens and look at my circumstances through the sovereignty of God rather than the selfishness of Sharon. And that gives me a better story. Not because the storyline changes, but because my perspective does.

Heavenly Father, forgive me for grumbling and complaining about my circumstances. Help me to flip the lens and look at my life through the lens of Your sovereignty. I know my circumstances will work to mold and make me more like Jesus. Help me to have joy in the journey. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
2 Corinthians 4:18, “As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (ESV)

What To Do When We Get Weary..... By: Anne Peterson

 What To Do When We Get Weary

By: Anne Peterson

Today’s Bible Verse: Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. – Isaiah 40:30-31

Serving. We’re exhorted to do it. We learn that Jesus came to serve (John 10:45). But sometimes after serving you get tired. You make sure the needs of others are met and it’s then you realize how tired you are.

Growing up, I don’t remember my mom ever sitting down with a cup of coffee. Having five kids left little time for that kind of restful pleasure. And then at some point, she started working with my dad at the snack shop they owned, and things changed even more. We’d come home from school and have only a few minutes with her before she had to leave. In the morning, she’d still be sleeping when we left for school. Having a model who never rested made it easy for me to duplicate that behavior.

God knows we get tired. He tells us to come to him when we are weak or heavy laden and he promises he’ll give us rest (Matthew 11:28). Even God rested after he made the world, modeling rest for us. We know he didn’t need rest. He never grows weary.

But Jesus experienced weariness. After Jesus ministered to the people, he’d get exhausted. He would slip off by himself and withdraw to lonely places (Luke 5:16). And what would Jesus do? He would pray. And God would strengthen him.

Isaiah tells us when we hope in the Lord, God will renew our strength. We will soar on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:30-31).

When we don’t take time out to get refreshed, we become irritable. We get short with others. We don’t enjoy the things we normally enjoy. If Jesus himself pulled away to let the Father refresh him, how can we possibly think we can keep going without God’s help?

Will we be people who work till they drop, or people who will take the time for needed rest?

When I think of the 23rd Psalm, I love the image of the shepherd leading his beloved sheep, making them lie down in green pastures, and leading them beside still waters. Jesus is our shepherd and he will lead us, every day, if we just listen to his gentle voice.

I am reminded of the beautiful hymn, Savior Like a Shepherd Lead Us, compiled by Dorothy Ann Thrupp. Read and reflect on these words, and recommit to rest this year.

Savior like a shepherd, lead us, much we need thy tender care.
In thy pleasant pastures feed us, for our use Thy folds prepare.
Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus, thou hast bought us, thine we are.
Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus, thou hast bought us thine we are.

I'm Happy for You... (Not) ..... by Kelly Givens

 I'm Happy for You... (Not)

by Kelly Givens

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15 

“Just installed our kitchen countertops! They’re GORGEOUS.”

I rolled my eyes as I glanced at the pictures someone - no older than me - had just posted online. Picture after picture of their sparkly new kitchen, inside their custom built (custom built, I tell you!) house. I looked up from screen and into my own tiny apartment kitchen with its plain, generic countertops. Nothing custom-built in my place. I tried not to think about it, but it was too late - jealousy had flooded my heart. It’s scary how natural it flowed in. All I wanted in that moment was to be OUT of my apartment and into some glamorous space of my own. Can you relate?

I love it when the Bible is black and white. There’s no confusion surrounding Romans 12:15 - we’re called to rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Pretty simple... except when it isn’t. I bet most of us wouldn’t have to think too hard to remember a time we failed pretty miserably at rejoicing over someone’s joy, or weeping as another wept. Why do we have this challenge?

When we fail to rejoice with those who rejoice, there could be several reasons why, but here are some I thought of off the top of my head: insecurity, jealousy or envy, discontent, bitterness.

What about when we fail to weep with those who weep? Here are some reasons (excuses, really) that come to mind: lacking compassion, both generally in life or toward a certain individual; perhaps not taking the time to listen or really put yourself in the person’s position; too busy to notice the suffering of others, distancing yourself emotionally from pain.

I’ve thought of some scenarios that may indicate we’re failing at Romans 12:15:

• Instead of rejoicing at someone’s news, we immediately begin to compare how our circumstances measure up.
• We’re quick to say “Oh yes, that happened to me once, too” instead of silently listening and acknowledging the hurt of others.
• We try to come to the rescue in every situation, rather than acknowledging that some suffering isn’t solvable or explainable (think Job and his friends).
• We brush off the pain of others because we think they are “taking things too hard.”
• We’re quick to say, “Well at least you’ve never experienced this" (insert whatever horrible thing we’ve experienced).
• We think they cheated their way to the blessings, just got lucky or don’t deserve the good thing they received (their parents are totally paying for that custom-built house!).

So what’s at the root of all of this? What’s the “sin beneath the sin,” so to speak?

I think central to our failure to rejoice and weep with others is a preoccupation with self. We can’t step outside of ourselves long enough to truly step into both the blessings and sufferings of those around us. It’s taken me a while, but I’ve tried to make a habit of acknowledging the joys and sufferings of others without immediately inserting myself into the situation. This isn’t a natural inclination for me. Satan is the master of deception and loves to make us fall for one of the oldest tricks in the book: that everything is about us.

Ultimately, the key to mastering Romans 12:15 isn’t just thinking about ourselves less. We’ve got to think about God more. People are most successful at eliminating bad behaviors or habits from their lives when they replace them with a good habit or behavior. So, I not only have to stop focusing on myself, but I have to replace all that time I spend thinking of myself with thinking of God. This is life-transforming; this is the key to killing pride - not simply humbling yourself, but exalting God - who is the only thing worthy of our exaltation.

When I’m thinking about God, and not about myself, he reminds me of some powerful truths:

I’ve come from dust and I’ll return to dust.  Genesis 3:19 reminds me that no matter how much I get ahead in life, eventually, I’m going to die. And nothing on this earth is worth coveting when I acknowledge that I can’t take it with me.

I am beautifully and wonderfully made. Psalms 139 reminds me that God made me perfectly, intentionally, knowingly- so I need to stop comparing the body I have to others. He made me just right.

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30 reminds me that envy is a crippling sin; I could literally waste my life away being envious of others. Contentment, on the other hand, brings life.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 reminds me that our part of our calling as Christians is to care for those burdened and help carry the burdens of others. I don’t get to “pass” on this part of my faith if it doesn’t come naturally to me or if I feel inconvenienced or uncomfortable by it. I don’t get to ignore the sufferings of others; I’m called to step into it.

After meditating on God’s promises and blessings, I am able to recall all the wonderful things about our apartment (hello, cheap rent!) and the many, many ways God has blessed and provided for me. Proverbs 30:8 says, “Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.” As Christians, contentment in our own circumstances is the surest way to reflect the all-satisfying power of Christ to those who may need to be reminded of where their joys and sufferings begin and end.

Intersecting Faith & Life: Do you struggle to rejoice with those rejoicing or weep with those weeping? Check yourself - what’s stopping you? Pray that God would help uncover the “sin beneath the sin” - the ways you’re focusing on yourself instead of focusing on Him.

A Prayer for Courage..... Dr. Ray Pritchard

 A Prayer for Courage

Dr. Ray Pritchard

Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” - Psalm 16:1-2

There are many days where I feel an overwhelming sense of discouragement, exhaustion, or frustration. It might be little things that bring about these feelings in me, or it might be major life events that have left me weary and hurting, but either way, I know I don’t have the strength on my own to make it through. It’s days like those where I find prayers like this comforting. When we feel those feelings creeping in, may we instead choose to kneel before our Father in heaven and ask him for the strength and courage we need to carry on. 

We often don't think about the connection to prayer and courage. But prayer is how we remind ourselves of what God has done in the past and who he is. He is infinitely good, wise, strong, loving, and perfect. And that infinite wisdom, goodness, love and perfection is what he uses to care for us every day. When we look back on our lives, we can see how all God has promised is true - he has never left us alone in our problems. He is always with us, always providing for our needs, always loving, carrying and strengthening us each day for the challenges ahead. When we take time to pray a prayer of gratitude for what God has done, it will encourage us to pray boldly, for the help we need in the present and future moments to come.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7

Will you join me in this prayer today?

Lord, grant me tenacious winsome courage as I go through this day. When I am tempted to give up, help me to keep going. Grant me a cheerful spirit when things don't go my way. And give me courage to do whatever needs to be done. In Jesus' name, Amen.

5 Ways to Engage More Deeply With God’s Word This Year ..... By Britnee Bradshaw

 5 Ways to Engage More Deeply With God’s Word This Year

By Britnee Bradshaw

Today's Bible Verse: “Keep my commandments and live, And my teaching as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart.” – Proverbs 7:2-3

The wonderful thing about God’s word is that it is so powerful in changing everything about our lives! It aligns us more closely with the heart of God because He and His word are one!

I’ve created a list of 5 ways we can engage more deeply with God’s word this year so that our lives can look, feel, and be more like Christ’s. I hope this lists helps you in your personal pursuit of God’s word and that you are encouraged to engage with it more deeply this year than ever before!

1. Prioritize Quiet Time

We can’t sustain a Christian lifestyle on the scraps of a Sunday sermon, or a bible study. Being quiet before the Lord every day deepens our relationship with Him, and in turn, it strengthens our ear to hear Him speak to us. Engaging the Word of God is no good if we don’t prioritize engaging the actual person of God, and doing so on a daily basis.

2. Choose a Scripture a Day to Meditate On

After we’ve had our quiet time with the Lord, it’s very easy to go on about our day without truly meditating on what we’ve studied. To meditate means to think deeply or carefully on, or to rehearse, something for a period of time. The more we surround ourselves with God’s Word, the more it will become embedded in our hearts and the more deeply we will engage it.

3. Talk About the Word in Your Day to Day

This is probably one of my favorite ways to engage the Word of God. Incorporating it into the rhythms of our lives is, essentially, what makes us more like Christ! I love weaving Scripture into my normal routine like cooking dinner, or watching TV. There is no part of our lives that there isn’t a scripture for! We don’t have to be super deep about this either. It can be as simple as asking ourselves, “Am I cooking food that is going to help build my temple (body) and strengthen it, or is this meal going to hurt it or tear it down?” It is so easy to live by the word when we actually apply it to the regularities of our lives.

4. Flip Moments of Frustration or Anger Into Teachable Moments

Our emotions are given to us by God. And most of the time, not all, but most, we are justified in feeling the emotions we feel. What matters is how we interact with those emotions! So, when we feel frustrated or angry, we can take the emotion itself as a sign that we need to bring God’s word into the situation. This is part of being on guard, which Scripture reminds us about, but it also serves as a way to engage Scripture in the hard moments. The hard moments are some of the best times to use Scripture because it strengthens our ability to not submit to our emotions, but to submit to Christ’s lordship over our lives!

5. Invite the Holy Spirit Into Your Prayer

Prayer is our direct communication to our Heavenly Father. It’s through and by prayer that we understand who we are and what God wants us to do. It’s also through prayer that we build a beautiful relationship with Him. Sometimes, our prayers can be convoluted with our own desires for ourselves vs God’s desires for us. There’s nothing wrong with us asking for things in prayer! However, that shouldn’t be the reason we pray. We pray to know God’s will and understand what he desires, so that we can walk in that. One thing that I’ve been working to implement in my prayer life is asking the Holy Spirit to come and be an active participant. To speak to Him, and then to still my heart and mind and allow Him to speak back to me. The Holy Spirit knows all the secrets of Heaven and he reveals all things to us as he is led by the Father (1 Cor 2:10-12). He (the Holy Spirit) knows the mind of God and will help us to pray effectual prayers!

How are you engaging more deeply with God’s Word this year?