Will I Still Be Married to My Spouse in Heaven? .....Hope Bolinger

Will I Still Be Married to My Spouse in Heaven?

• Hope Bolinger

Although Scripture can be a bit enigmatic about the nature of heaven, Jesus does make one thing clear in the Gospel of Luke: even if we marry on this earth to an earthly spouse, we will not stay married to them in heaven.

One may wonder how this question comes about. Of all the things to wonder about heaven, a spouse doesn’t necessarily top the list of questions one may think to ask.

However, it seems reasonable that Christians may wonder about this. Many Christians have lost a spouse along the way and want to reunite with them in heaven.

Others may have experienced a divorce (or a few divorces) and may wonder which spouse they’d be married to in heaven. Or even others have remarried along the way, and would that mean they’d be married to both spouses? How would that work?

However, when the Sadducees queried Jesus about the nature in heaven, they had something different in mind. They posed the question as such:

If a man’s brother dies, the wife of the late brother would marry the brother. For the sake of clarity, we’ll label the brother who died as Brother One, and the new brother as Brother Two. Brother Two is obligated to marry Brother One’s wife under Judeo law.

Brother Two dies and Brother Three marries the woman and so on until she marries all seven brothers and bears no children.

They asked Jesus whose wife she’d be in the resurrection. Now, we have to keep the Sadducees didn’t believe in the resurrection of the dead (Mark 12:18).

Hellenized and under the social graces of the Romans, they gave up parts of their Jewish identity and beliefs in order to fit in with society. That included the belief in a resurrection. By asking this question, they want to prove the idiocy of Jesus’ claims by saying, “See! He believes in the resurrection, but there’s logical problems with the resurrection if she’s technically married to seven men.”

So when they posed the question, “Who would she be married to in heaven?” they were really seeking to trip Jesus up. They didn’t really care about the answer, so long as the answer made Jesus appear foolish.

What Does the Bible Say About Marriage in Heaven?

Nevertheless, Jesus does answer their question in Luke 20:27-38.

In essence, he says no we don’t stay married to those we married on earth. In verses 34-35, he replies “… ‘The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage…’”

The Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the passage digs even deeper into the reasoning for this.

First, we have to understand that metaphysical nature of the world to come is entirely different than the world we live in now. They operate by different measures.

Second, among many other purposes, marriage serves the purpose of death in this world. Although that statement may seem like a contradiction, Matthew Henry explains it as thus. Essentially, we marry to be a reflection of Jesus Christ and the church, avoid sexual sin, and to produce offspring to fill the earth. That third purpose, the purpose to procreate, fills the hole of death in this world (Genesis 1:28).

But in heaven, death doesn’t exist. Neither does temptation and sin. That eradicates the first two purposes. Third, marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church. But in heaven, we no longer see in a mirror dimly (1 Corinthians 13:12). Why settle for a reflection when we have the best kind of marriage at our fingertips in heaven: the marriage of Christ and his Church? More on this later.

Context and Meaning of Luke 20

Zooming out, Luke 20 as a whole seems to present several religious teachers who questioned Jesus’ authority and sought to trick him. In the first section, we have the chief priests asking Jesus where his authority comes from (Luke 20:2). Second, they ask him who to pay taxes to, trying to have cause to arrest him (Luke 20:20).

And finally, in the final parts of the chapters, the Sadducees question him about the resurrection.

The whole chapter appears to show the downfalls of earthly rulers, even religious rulers, who lose sight of heaven and what matters most.

The Geneva Study Bible commentary appears to agree with this.

As Christians, we can often get bogged down in the details on earth that we forget heaven operates far differently than this world (Colossians 3:2).

We have to live with eternity in mind. Although God has given us a purpose on earth, our time on earth is very short (Psalm 103:15-16) in comparison with eternity in heaven.

Will You Still Be Married in Heaven?

If your spouse is saved or was saved while they walked on the earth, you will reunite with them in heaven.

However, according to the passage analyzed in this article, as for the second question, no, you will not be married in heaven. In heaven, we participate in a much greater wedding: the wedding of the marriage supper of the lamb (Revelation 19:6-9).

Jesus Christ has married the Church. We are his bride. We will participate in a wedding and marriage far more wonderful than any earthly relationship can create (Ephesians 5:25).

Will You Still Love Your Spouse in Heaven?

You will still love your spouse because the very nature of God is love. He fills heaven with his glory (Ezekiel 1). In new un-sinful bodies and becoming more like Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), we will love in heaven more than we ever loved on earth.

Granted, we may not experience the sexual love of eros, but we will experience a brotherly phileo love for one another.

Because the English language only has one word for love, we forget that other languages, such as Ancient Greek, had many different types of love.

God has given us sex and eros as a gift on earth, but how much greater the gifts and rewards in heaven he has waiting for us! (Matthew 5:12, Luke 12:33-34, 1 Corinthians 2:9).

We love our spouses, and we have a hard time imagining anything greater God can have in store in heaven, but as stated in 1 Corinthians 2:9 above, he has prepared something for us in heaven beyond where our imaginations can stretch.

Living with Eternity in Mind

The first time I encountered Luke 20, the passage saddened me. Having been trained to see marriage and having children as the ultimate good, I wondered how God could ever top that, and why he would ever do such a thing as take away marriage in heaven.

But then I re-analyzed the reason God gave us marriage in the first place. As mentioned above, he did this as an act to show his relationship between himself and the church, each party giving of themselves to one another faithfully and unconditionally (Ephesians 5).

He also made marriage for procreation purposes and to combat the desires of the flesh (2 Timothy 2:22).   

We should make sure to live with eternity in mind, but not take for granted the gifts God has given to us now. Although we have many exciting adventures to look forward to in heaven, we have to remember we’re in the midst of a race right now that we have yet to finish (Hebrews 12:1-3).

And even if we don’t stay married to our spouses in heaven, we’ll experience the best wedding of all. Christ Himself.

Streams in the Desert

"Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?" (John 11:40).

Mary and Martha could not understand what their Lord was doing. Both of them said to Him, "Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." Back of it all, we seem to read their thought: "Lord, we do not understand why you have stayed away so long. We do not understand how you could let death come to the man whom you loved. We do not understand how you could let sorrow and suffering ravage our lives when your presence might have stayed it all. Why did you not come? It is too late now, for already he has been dead four days!" And to it all Jesus had but one great truth: "You may not understand; but I tell you if you believe, you will see."

Abraham could not understand why God should ask the sacrifice of the boy; but he trusted. And he saw the glory of God in his restoration to his love. Moses could not understand why God should keep him forty years in the wilderness, but he trusted; and he saw when God called him to lead forth Israel from bondage.

Joseph could not understand the cruelty of his brethren, the false witness of a perfidious woman, and the long years of an unjust imprisonment; but he trusted, and he saw at last the glory of God in it all. Jacob could not understand the strange providence which permitted the same Joseph to be torn from his father's love, but he saw the glory of God when he looked into the face of that same Joseph as the viceroy of a great king, and the preserver of his own life and the lives of a great nation.

And so, perhaps in your life. You say, "I do not understand why God let my dear one be taken. I do not understand why affliction has been permitted to smite me. I do not understand the devious paths by which the Lord is leading me. I do not understand why plans and purposes that seemed good to my eyes should be baffled. I do not understand why blessings I so much need are so long delayed.

Friend, you do not have to understand all God's ways with you. God does not expect you to understand them. You do not expect your child to understand, only believe. Some day you will see the glory of God in the things which you do not understand.
--J. H. McC

"If we could push ajar the gates of life,
And stand within, and all God's working see,
We might interpret all this doubt and strife,
And for each mystery could find a key.

"But not today. Then be content, poor heart;
God's plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold.
We must not tear the close-shut leaves apart--
Time will reveal the calyxes of gold.

"And if, through patient toil, we reach the land
Where tired feet, with sandals loosed, may rest,
When we shall clearly know and understand,
I think that we shall say, 'God knew best."'

When Sin Bubbles Up..... by Kelly Givens

When Sin Bubbles Up
by Kelly Givens

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of Life has set me free from the law of sin and death.”  Romans 8:1-2

A few weeks ago, after realizing I had somehow missed reading this children’s classic as a child, I found myself speeding through the entire Anne of Green Gables series. The books captivated me, and for good reason. Written in the early twentieth century by Canadian author Lucy Maud Montgomery, the series chronicles the life of red-headed Anne Shirley, an orphan adopted by a brother and sister pair who really wanted a little boy to help on their farm. Eventually, they learn to love the little girl brought to them, as do all readers of Montgomery’s classic. Anne is a true literary heroine. We identify with her weaknesses: her spiritedness, quick-temper and vanity, and we strive for her strengths: bravery, generosity, and a heart overflowing with love for life and people.

As I read through the books, I was struck with the number of times Montgomery used Anne’s character to illustrate deep truths about the human condition. There were many examples, but one stood out in particular to me.  After being picked up from the train station by Matthew, Anne begins describing her life in the orphanage. Realizing she was exaggerating just how bad things were, Anne apologizes, saying, “It’s so easy to be wicked without knowing it, isn’t it?”

Indeed, it is. Throughout the Green Gables series, Anne repeatedly found herself unexpected moments of “wickedness,” forced to repent to neighbors, family and friends for some fiery retort, vain action or other impulsive sin. We can all relate to Anne- I know there are days I have to apologize over and over for the same sin- it just somehow keeps “bubbling up” in me.

The Apostle Paul dealt with this too. In his letter to the church in Rome, he wrote “For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing” (Romans 7:19). What causes us to do the very things we don’t want to do? Why does our sin seem to bubble up in us—overflowing like a pot of boiling water? Paul understood: it is our indwelling, sinful nature fighting against our desire to do what is good. He goes on to say:

“For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?”

Thankfully, Paul’s question is rhetorical; he knows the answer. “Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  After acknowledging God to be our ultimate rescuer from sin, he writes some of the most encouraging verses of scripture found in the Bible, reminding us that through Christ’s death on the cross we have all we need to fight the wickedness that bubbles up in us.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Praise God! Our sinful nature is no match for the redemptive power of the cross.  Yes, as Anne said, it is easy to be wicked- in fact, it’s unavoidable. Thankfully, Christ has already taken the punishment for our wickedness, and even more- he has credited his righteousness to us, giving us all the means we need to conqueror the sin in our lives.

Intersecting Faith & Life: Are you like me and Anne, feeling the weight of your sin and maybe a little powerless to stop it? Then cling to the encouragement that Paul gives us in Romans - through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross we are justified and are being sanctified from our sin.

Further Reading:
Romans 7-8
Galatians 5:13-18
1 Timothy 1:12-17

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What Cain and Able Teach Us about the Way Out of Sin..... by Jennifer Waddle

What Cain and Able Teach Us about the Way Out of Sin
by Jennifer Waddle

Even though I already know the outcome of the story, each time I read Genesis 4, I find myself thinking, Sin is right outside your door, Cain! Hurry, get a broom and sweep it off the porch!

But as we know, God’s warning went unheeded. Cain proceeded to rise up against his brother and kill him. Cain did not understand that the KEY to mastering sin—yielding to the Lord’s admonition.

It’s really no different with us, is it? We get a “check” in our spirit—a warning from God—yet we choose to ignore Him. The Lord not only warns us when our sin is right outside the door, He gives us everything we need to rule over it.

Here are 3 ways the Lord provides a way out of sin.

1. “…but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” 1Corinthians 10:13

Our temptations are never more than we can bear. Even when they feel overpowering, God always provides the way out. In times of temptation, we can ASK the Lord to show us the nearest escape route—and count on Him to provide it.

2. You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

Sin feels powerful. Its grip can seem too strong to loosen. However, sin is weak and powerless against the One who lives in us. We have the ultimate Source of strength, yet we either try to fight the temptation on our own, or we completely ignore the Holy Spirit.

Once we declare that God lives in us, nothing can stand against! The way out of sin is yielding to the Spirit. For it’s not by our power or might, but by His Spirit says the Lord! (Zechariah 4:6)

3. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:2

When God questioned Cain about his anger, He knew exactly what Cain’s intentions were. The Lord’s thought-provoking questions were an attempt to get him to stop and think about his actions.

If you read all of Genesis 4, the Bible explains that Cain did not give the first fruits of the land, while Abel offered God the firstborn of his flock. The Lord respected Abel’s offering, but Cain’s, He rejected. Cain was overcome with evil because he refused to do what was good.

For us, choosing to do what is right, even when we don’t feel like it, will triumph evil every time. So, the next time sin is crouching at your door, go ahead and grab that broom. Sweep it away before it even stands a chance!

A Prayer to Help You Find Courage..... By: Betsy de Cruz

A Prayer to Help You Find Courage
By: Betsy de Cruz

“For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” - 2 Chronicles 20:12b, ESV

Afraid doesn’t begin to describe how I felt when it got dark and my daughter didn’t come home. I called her five times but kept getting a recording. Finally, I telephoned the friend she’d met earlier in the day. “She left an hour ago to catch the bus. Isn’t she home yet?” the girl said.

My husband and I felt desperate and didn’t know what to do. He grabbed the car keys to go out and look for her, but how on earth could we find our daughter in a city of four million people?

An hour later, she walked in the door, and relief flooded my soul. She’d gotten lost and her phone had died.

Have you ever been caught in a hard place where you just didn't know what to do and felt afraid of possible outcomes?

Maybe you're there now.

My situation only lasted a few hours, but yours may still be going on. A health problem, financial crunch, or troubled marriage can make you feel like you’re at the end of your rope.

For situations when fear and uncertainty are getting the best of us, I love the story of Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20. When a great multitude comes to attack Judah, King Jehoshaphat is scared to death, but he resolves to seek God. He proclaims a fast, and all of Israel comes together to seek God.

God then speaks to His people through a prophet, “Do not be afraid…the battle is not yours, but God’s” (2 Chronicles 20:15b). The following day as Jehoshaphat’s army begins to sing and praise the Lord, God sets an ambush against their enemies.

This story teaches us several life principles to help us navigate hard situations with courage:

1) If you're feeling scared, keep your eyes on God. Set your heart on seeking Him.

2) Remember the battle is the Lord's. He is fighting for you.

3) You will see victory as you praise God.

When you’re at the end of your rope, remember all you have to do is keep your eyes on Jesus. At the right time, He will show you how to move forward.

Keep your eyes on Him today, friend. Raise a hallelujah and take courage. Victory is on the way. We don't know how and when it will come, but in Christ, we are more than conquerors. Let's praise the God who goes before us.

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father,

I praise you today for your great power and love. Thank you for your mercy. Through the death of Jesus, you have rescued me from sin, and I praise your name.

Lord, you know the situation I am facing. I truly do not know what to do, but my eyes are on you. I trust you will show me the best way to handle my challenges. In your perfect timing, show me what to do. Give me grace to keep my eyes on you.

Lord, I praise you for the victory you won at the cross. You defeated sin and death forever. You are Alpha and Omega, the eternal God who has rescued your children. Help me remember you go before me and will never leave me. I am not alone; you fight my battles. I praise and thank you in advance for the way you will work. I cannot see it now, but give me grace to walk by faith, not by sight. 

I do not know what to do, but my eyes are on you, and I will praise your great name. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.